Heaven announces the new Michael Jackson Welcome Tour!


Heaven made a very special press release earlier today. They announced that Michael Jackson, who arrived earlier today after been processed at the Pearly Gates, has agreed to perform a tour this season, attending all 250 arenas all across Heaven.

The response has been immense. Tickets sold out within minutes. Some people were quoted as saying: “I would give my soul for a ticket”. Heaven administrators are contemplating organising another tour, before some of Heaven’s residents become tempted with doing something they shouldn’t, just to be able to attend one of the concerts.

A Heaven spokesperson released the following statement earlier:

“Not since the deaths of Jimmy Hendrix and Elvis Presley has there been such a demand for concert tickets in Heaven. That was one of the reasons why we built and extra 150 stadiums, bringing the total up to 250, to meet the growing demand for concerts of recently deceased super stars. We strive to keep the entertainment standards in Heaven on a very high par. We don’t want the competition, we all know who they are, to start to sound more apealing to people, alive and dead. We are currently talking to God about the possibilities of having Michael Jackson perform until everybody in Heaven who wants to see him, gets their chance. After all, Elvis still hasn’t had even one day to put his feet up, since he is still touring Heaven because of the huge demand. We believe we made the right decision not to let his (Elvis’) manager into Heaven, because lawyers always make thing way too complicated. Michael Jackson’s lawyer will be treated the same way.”

Unofficial sources told us about rumors that Michael Jackson got into Heaven because of hundreds of millions of prayers that was directed at God and Jesus right after his death. Heaven saw the opportunity and the benefits of letting this hugely popular super star into Heaven right away. It has been a while since an adult passed through the processing facility at The Pearly Gates this quickly.


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