Lili Radloff isn’t impressed with the “female Angus Buchan’s” latest preachings.
Both the NG and Hervormde (reformed) church spoke out against this, saying that men and women should be equal partners in a marriage. Now, for crying in a bucket, if the Hervormde Kerk thinks you’re taking things a little far that should really be a sign to take a step back and breathe a little.
Ms Wiid, of course, didn’t. In this week’s Huisgenoot this self-styled expert speaks openly about her ideas (read commandments) about sex. In the article she mentions that sexologists (you know, the people who’ve actually STUDIED human sexual behaviour) will probably disagree with her. Here I have to pause and grudgingly congratulate her on that uncharacteristically astute observation.
Why? Because she says alone masturbation is wrong. In fact, she reckons any sexual exploration done before or outside of marriage is wrong. Thus, you are allowed to touch yourself ONLY when you are already married and your husband has an active part in your masturbation.
Now while this can definitely spice up your marital sex, I can’t help being shocked and horrified on two levels: first, in a country riddled with HIV/AIDS, unplanned pregnancies and sexual abuse, Ms Wiid slams the one sexual practice that has no negative personal or greater social effects.
Is she totally deluded or just criminally stupid?
Second, as someone who deals with literally hundreds of letters every month from women who get almost no pleasure from their marital sex beds because their husbands/partners are either too self-involved or too ignorant to understand their wives’ bodies, I think it is wildly irresponsible and counterproductive of this woman to go round actively discouraging women to explore what makes them tick sexually.
She actually suggests that women hand over their sexuality, their bodies and their sexual decisions completely into the hands of men.
And although her idea sounds somewhat quaint in a 1960’s Mills & Boon type of way (just so you know, I think my husband would be a great custodian of my vagina) the reality is that most South African women live in a society where female sexuality is still kept very much in a chokehold by the grubby male paws of patriarchy.
So I can only come to one conclusion: Ms Wiid who has handed the ownership of her own vagina into the hands of her husband (who is also her master) must be one kinky cookie.
But maybe I’m wrong. Maybe masturbation ruins marriages every day. So own up wankers! Do you think masturbation adds or detracts from your sex life…