Christians pretend to hate masturbators. You really can’t make this shit up!

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14 thoughts on “Christians pretend to hate masturbators. You really can’t make this shit up!

  1. Daar is niks, niks maar niks fout met masturbasie in die privaatheid van jou kamer of waarhookal nie. Ek moedig masturbasie juis aan aangesien geen meisie pregnant kan word asgevolg daarvan nie. Geen sexueel oordraagbare siektes nie. Bloot ‘n eksplorasie van jou eie liggaam en sexualiteit. Sels hoogs onramantiese mense kan dit toepas en geniet. Dis eintlik baie verantwoordelik.

    Vergelyk om te masturbeer met om rond te slaap met ‘n ander vrou, nie so erg nie. Dalk nie almal se persoonlikke smaak nie, maar niks fout daarmee nie. Solank dit in privaatheid gedoen word. Dis deel van sexueel groot word. Tieners gaan dit doen of ouers dit wil weet of nie.

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    • But Mac, surely you do not expect the godiots to pay attention to scientific evidence? I mean, they will never ever tarnish their names by supporting science or the products theteof……..with a few exeptions of course, like cellphones, motor vehicles, planes, TVS, computors and more or less everything used in every day life……… but support science when it shows their dogma up for the pile of horse manure it really is, no no noooo, then they fall back to the caveman mentality of their forefathers. Strange bunch these godiots.

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  2. Se my Kwassie, stem jy saam met liefste-jusussie-seer-handjies. Slaan jy so dan en wan hand aan eie vlees of is jy te bang vir jou gotte se toorn?

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  3. Matt 5:28-29 (NIV) [Jesus:] “But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.”

    Which leads me to wonder: If Kwassie masturebates and (assuming he is married), “accidentally” an image of some woman other than his wife, manages to enter his mind; would he then grab the closest kitchen knife and gouge out an eye?

    Uhm…strange that we witness so many christians going to their graves with two eyes.

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  4. Some more wisdom from jesus’ so- called Sermon from the Mount:

    Teaching about Adultery
    27“You have heard the commandment that says, ‘You must not commit adultery.’* 28But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart. 29So if your eye—even your good eye* —causes you to lust, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. 30And if your hand—even your stronger hand* —causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.

    Teaching about Divorce
    31“You have heard the law that says, ‘A man can divorce his wife by merely giving her a written notice of divorce.’* 32But I say that a man who divorces his wife, unless she has been unfaithful, causes her to commit adultery. And anyone who marries a divorced woman also commits adultery.

    Teaching about Vows
    33“You have also heard that our ancestors were told, ‘You must not break your vows; you must carry out the vows you make to the Lord.’* 34But I say, do not make any vows! Do not say, ‘By heaven!’ because heaven is God’s throne. 35And do not say, ‘By the earth!’ because the earth is his footstool. And do not say, ‘By Jerusalem!’ for Jerusalem is the city of the great King. 36Do not even say, ‘By my head!’ for you can’t turn one hair white or black. 37Just say a simple, ‘Yes, I will,’ or ‘No, I won’t.’ Anything beyond this is from the evil one.

    If someone had to preach this today, he would bevthrown into an asylum. Bizarre.

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  5. Some more bible jewels that serves as reasons why guys like Johannie and Kwassie have evidently lost their marbles.

    From 1Cor 7:
    1Now regarding the questions you asked in your letter. Yes, it is good to abstain from sexual relations.

    7But I wish everyone were single, just as I am. Yet each person has a special gift from God, of one kind or another.

    8So I say to those who aren’t married and to widows—it’s better to stay unmarried, just as I am. 9But if they can’t control themselves, they should go ahead and marry. It’s better to marry than to burn with lust.

    Aaaah, now i understand! (just been filled by the holy goat!). We should only get married when we cannot control our horniness! The rest of us – and this is preferable(!!!)- should stay single and abstain from any rompipompi, i.e. become nuns and monks.

    What wisdom from this insightful book! But guys, you will only understand my rantings if you take the geloofsprong like i did, after which you will experience a sharp pain in the behind as you get ravaged by the holy goat…..who after all does not need to be married to have unsolicited intercourse. Makes perfect sense.

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  6. As a young boy I was concerned with the Earth, how we were damaging it with pollution. I was worried for the welfare for all the endangered species, how we were eradicating whole species with every skyscraper we built or every gas-guzzling car that was made. I feared for poor, underprivileged children in far away countries that didn’t have clean water and were dying of horrible diseases.

    Then I discovered wanking.

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  7. Soos ek ouer word kom ek alhoe meer agter dat geloof die rede vir my hel is. Vandat ek hierdie blog gejoin het het ek van agnostic na atheis gegaan. Kyk ouens ek bely dit hier vir julle dat daar nie ‘n ding soos ‘n god is nie. Die hel wat religion in mense se lewens saai is onbeskryflik. Ek wag nog vir euthanasia om te kom. Dat ons mense wat regtig nie kan gehelp kan word nie verlos van hulle hel.

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    • I don’t know what ails you Adriaan, but if it incurable and the prognosis is that things can only get worse then you should go to a country where euthanasia is legal so that the procedure can be carried out. It is not acceptable to force a very limited life onto anyone. As you are over 21 you are at liberty to exercise this choice.

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      • If not, there is always putting a plastic bag over your head, drinking sleeping pills with very strong alcohol, driving off a cliff with your car, or guess what we live in South Africa. Leave your doors open so some robber can come and murder you. I hope I die this year. May I Adriaan die this year! Can’t wait, really, really cant wait. In the meantime I will keep gassing myself, hanging, drowning or provoking an aggressive taxi driver in mind.

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